The Toot

By Dean Kostos

Trees along the highway spiraled through the eyepiece of my kaleidoscope—our car speeding home to Cinnaminson, New Jersey. Mom and Dad had gone for marriage counseling in Philadelphia. My brother Phillip and I had tagged along. Dad shared something he’d read in a law journal, “New York cops use a technique when a criminal resists arrest. The Adam’s apple is so sensitive—if they push on it, the guy can’t move.”

“You mean they jam it into his throat?” my brother asked.

“Exactly—makes the assailant mute, except for guttural gasping.”

“Ted, please stop it. This isn’t the kind of conversation to have in front of the boys. Besides, it’s making me …

The Joseph of Arimathea Center for Secret Believers

Applying Digital Marketing Tactics, “Secret” Church Goes Viral 

By Nana Ekua Brew-Hammond

The Joseph of Arimathea Center for Secret Believers, better known as the JofACSB, is the largest congregation in country, but, who exactly its 6.7 million members are, is, of course, a secret. The center—“It’s not a church,” insists Reverend Nicodemus (not his real name)—has no physical location. Its members meet remotely every Sunday at cockcrow (EST) using a unique dial-in and password sent them via text moments before. Visitors interested in attending a “session” (Nicodemus cringes at “church words” like “service” and “flock”) can request a unique password via a member.

Members are encouraged to partake in “Secret Acts …

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